I always admire my mom. To her, “the more, the merrier”; to me, “the more, the scarier”. Unlike me, who always find small-talks are boring and super awkward, my mom can easily make friend and initiate conversations with anyone. Many times to my utter surprise, people did not mind to pour out their family problems in their first meet with her. I never can do that!
When I was younger, my mom usually complained about my quietness. She took my silence as shyness no matter how hard I tried to explain that I was simply not interested in talking to strangers. It took years for her to understand that I am an introvert and nothing’s wrong with me. I am not really into small-talks.
That characteristic, though saves me from involving in a lot of unpleasant social connections, I can’t react quickly in unexpected circumstances. Slow social reaction is my biggest weakness. If things happen in a quick manner, you would likely see me being frozen, unable to respond as graceful as I wish. It explains why many people think I have problems with communication which, of course, not true. I just need time and proper preparation.
“How to Communicate with Confidence” by Mike Bechtle is not the first communication book I read. Many skills in it were also presented in other high-rated book I consumed before. However, as a book written for introverts, this book contains communication methods that introverts feel easier and more encouraged to follow stress-free.
Mike Bechtle is an introvert himself, an author of five best-selling books, including the famous “People Can’t Drive You Crazy If You Don’t Give Them the Keys”. He is a Franklin Covey consultant for over 30 years (teaching over 3000 seminars). The thing that I like most about this books is not the practical communication techniques but his writing reflects exactly the key insight that he kept repeating throughout it: being genuine!
I like how Mike Bechtle started this book. Instead of discussing the benefits of possessing good communication skills, he talked about how our perspectives would filter the words’ meanings and who should be responsible for a good conversation. We don’t need the author to repeat what we all have known which led us to pick up the book. I am happy that he decided to skip straight to discuss the bi-directional responsibilities of both parties in building a good conversation through the explanation of personal perspective lenses. A good conversation involves in two parties, without a will to cooperate, the conversation won’t work. I found this perspective, though not new, still makes readers feel less stressed if the conversation does not end beautifully.
Improving communication skills doesn’t mean trying to manipulate people. Lies will breed lies; only genuineness will foster and make the relationship blossom. While other books would encourage readers to create connections, Mike focuses to encourage his readers to sincerely explore other people’s worlds and let the relationship naturally develop.
The book covers techniques of how to engage and retreat conversations gracefully both in person and on social media. I followed the techniques in the book and immediately saw how better my conversations with people became.
In a nutshell, this book is very worth a read for introverts who want to improve their communication skill.
Rating: 5/5
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